(channeling June Carter Cash with my title)
I've been gone a while.
I had to go through a bit of a personal, mental transformation.
I had to learn to forgive myself.
I had to learn to rely on the Lord. Every day.
I had to learn to banish negative things like jealousy (really, such an ugly word, isn't it?).
I had to learn I am on my own path and that I am successful and can stand on my own.
I still have much to learn...
But I am here.
I've had the lap-band for almost two years now. I've lost a total of 38 lbs, or roughly 30% of the weight I needed to lose. I lost 30 lbs within the first four months and after that it was a terrible struggle just to get one pound off of me, even with a personal trainer twice a week. I've worked very hard to get health issues like my thyroid and PCOS in check in order to lose more weight, but they have worked against me for the most part. I've still managed to get 8 more pounds off in a year and I look forward to the challenges of 2013 and watching another 8 pounds come off. Every. pound. counts! Every pound means my hard work is paying off. No one ever guaranteed that I would lose weight like others; no one ever guaranteed I would lose weight at all. I had to work through my disappointment and realize I am still a success story, just an unconventional one.
I would never, ever say I regret getting the band. Quite the contrary. It has forced me to look at my life and the way I eat so totally differently than I had anticipated; it has forced me to face some mental demons I had/have and banish them from my life. It's a reminder to me, every day, that I cannot do this without God's help.
If you are still here, thanks for reading. I look forward to writing more about what my struggles have been and what I've been able to do in the last year. Maybe it can help you, too.